I remember standing in front of an audience after a presentation and a small hand rose at the back of the room. I asked if they had a question. The person stood up and asked, “What is Leadership?”

I am sure many of us have been asked this question before, but this was different because it came from an audience of 6th graders. Like many people, I have heard a wide variety of business people describe what leadership is, listened to a multitude of consultants and sat through countless seminars, all explaining the complexities of leadership — but to explain it to 6th graders was a different experience altogether.

So I took a chance, and this is what I shared: I learned a great deal of what it means to be a leader from my parents. They taught me that asking for help is a good thing, not a sign of weakness. My father showed me leadership in working hard and challenging me to do the same. My mother taught me compassion and how to love and show respect toward my elders, to never look down on anyone unless I was helping them up.

I also learned great lessons about leadership from the many coaches I had over the years. As a team captain, they taught me the leadership skills to encourage others to work toward team goals, to learn from the struggle and move toward a shared experience of growth. I shared that leadership is all around us. All we have to do is look for it in different ways.

Sometimes being a leader means that you follow and help others succeed in reaching their dreams; in other situations, it takes courage to stand alone for what you believe in. Understanding that leadership is not a win or lose opportunity. Each experience is a chance for growth in meeting the challenge. From my teachers, I learned that how you lead matters most, including how to share leadership.

Leadership is very hard to define because real leadership in life is a phenomenon that looks different depending on the context. Which means, leadership is how you define it and there are no wrong answers. You just have to embrace it when it comes your way and be able to give it away when it is time. For me, it is constantly learning about yourself and investing time in others. It encompasses all of the things we learned in grade school: be kind, be respectful, and take care of each other. Most importantly, be patient and take risks. See the leadership in others and they will see it in you.

I did not receive a standing ovation that day, but the young person who asked the question did share that they are learning a lot from their parents too, and that was good enough for me.